Situation: I’m on the highway, 60 mph speed limit, and I’m going 63, on cruise control, in the far right lane.
Scenario #1: The car in front of me is going 55. No big deal, I’ll go around him. I pull into the middle lane, still on cruise control. As soon as I pull up even with the car I’m passing, it speeds up. No one wants to be passed by the red mommy van. So I fall back and get behind again, and the car slows down again. Repeat.
Scenario #2: The car in front of me is going 50, and traffic is too heavy for me to go around. A monster truck zooms up behind me and super-glues itself to my back bumper. The driver has a clear view of what’s in front of me… where does he expect me to go??
Situation: I’m on the little two-lane road that is pretty much the only way out of our town. Speed limit is 35. I’m going about 37. There is no safe way to pass on this road.
Scenario #1: There is no one behind me. A car on a side street waiting to pull onto the street I’m on simply cannot wait the 5 seconds till I am past him. He pulls in front of me and speeds up to 25. Alllllllll the way down the street.
Scenario #2: A monster truck zooms up behind me and super-glues itself to my back bumper. Cops regularly set up shop on this road, and I’m not willing to go faster and risk a ticket from Deputy Fife. So Monster Truck and I proceed together as one entity.
Situation: I am driving on Business 121, a 4-lane sort-of highway, speed limit 50 until you are out of town, and then it goes to 60. I generally have to be in the left lane because the right lane peels off to become another road.
Scenario #1: Everyone around me is going 40. No way to pass.
Scenario #2: Everyone in the left lane is going 40, and everyone in the right lane is going 45. No way to pass.
Scenario #3: I’m going 60 in the left lane, and someone pulls in front of me and slows down to 50.
I believe there is some kind of Murphy’s Law at work here. I (almost) always drive within 5 miles of the speed limit. I always seem to be behind someone who wants to go 10 miles an hour under the speed limit, and in front of someone who wants to go 20 miles an hour over the speed limit. And these things most frequently occur when I am running late or otherwise am in a hurry.
I know there are more important matters afoot – memories of tragedy, the economy in the toilet, a government so bloated with pork we should hear “oink oink oink” every time we turn on CNN, illnesses, and so forth. This is minor in the grand scheme of things, and I know it. But it still drives me crazy (no pun intended), and things that drive me crazy are the things I write about. And maybe if you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios, you will repent, and the world will be a better place because of it!