I took the girls to Cici’s the other day for lunch, and somehow, the subject of ways to get kicked out came up. So – sharing full and equal credit for authorship with Mary and Leah – here’s what we came up with.
10. Go down the buffet line sticking your head under the sneeze guard and sniffing all the pizzas. Touch them all with one finger, for good measure.
9. Order some weird combination of ingredients on a pizza that nobody else would ever eat – like jalapenos, macaroni, and carrots – then don’t eat it.
8. Buy a bouncy ball from the vending machine, then complain to the manager that it’s not a gumball.
7. Ask for the icing bottle (for the cinnamon rolls) and, a la Walter Cunningham, drown everything on your plate. (“What in the Sam Hill are you doing?!”)
6. Fill up your water cup with marinara and then ask for another one for the alfredo.
5. Ask the cashier if you can exchange the plastic necklace you won in the game room.
4. Start a food fight.
3. Pile up a couple of plates with cucumbers and ranch dressing from the salad bar, then put up a sign at your table that you’re giving free facials.
2. Take all the napkins out of the dispenser (now that they are in one big container on the buffet line instead of at your table). You can use them to help with the facials.
And the Number 1 way to get kicked out of Cici’s:
1. Before an employee can say, “Thanks for coming in!” to someone who is leaving, yell, “Bye! Hope you don’t get food poisoning!”