My teenagers are a constant source of amusement around here. As a follow-up to my Cici’s post a few weeks ago, I now submit to you: the top ten ways to get kicked out of Target. Original idea courtesy of my older teenager.
10. Turn up the volume to the maximum on all display televisions and radios.
9. Request that the guy in the deli slice several kinds of meat and cheese, then say, “Oh, never mind.”
8. Juggle oranges in the produce section. Badly.
7. Ask the pharmacist if they carry aspirin.
6. Move several cartons of skim milk over to the whole milk section, and vice versa. Alternate them on the shelves.
5. Do the same thing with the dog food and cat food.
4. Repeatedly take the maximum number of items into the dressing rooms, then reject them all.
3. Ask the barista at Starbucks if you can super-size your fries.
2. Put a red donation bucket on a tripod and ring a bell, in March.
And the #1 way to get yourself kicked out of Target.
1. Allow your teenager to ride standing up in the cart, arms spread, yelling, “I’m king of the world!”