Lots of people, including my daughters, tell me what a great mom I am. While I appreciate the praise, it always makes me squirm a little… because I feel like a fraud. My heart secretly dreads that my kids will be 35 and in therapy because of stuff I did or said (or didn’t do or didn’t say) when they were little. I question myself constantly, and pray without ceasing, “Please give me the right words, please help me make the right decision, please don’t let me screw them up too badly.”
It is my number 1 mission in life to be a good mom. My girls are so wonderful, and I know my husband and I have done a good job raising them (I am incredibly blessed with a husband who is an amazing father to our girls). But I also know the proof will be in the future, as they get old enough to take care of themselves – will they be okay? Will they make good decisions? Will they look back on that time I forgot to say, “I’m sorry,” and be disappointed and angry at me? Will that scar them for life? Have we properly prepared them to face life?
Objectively, I think I can say yes, we’ve prepared them. They are smart, sensible, generous, kind, and as wise as two teenage girls can possibly be. I know intellectually that we have done well by them. But deep down inside, I will probably always worry that I’ve let them down somehow.
So, here is where I usually include some word of wisdom in my blog posts. Guess what? I don’t have one today. I guess I’ll just ask you all to pray for me, and I’ll pray for you, that we will always do right by our kids, and that God will protect them from our screw-ups.
Mothers and mother-figures out there – hang tough. I love you guys.